Timothy Timothy

Archive for November, 2011|Monthly archive page

I’m Damn Afraid

In Uncategorized on November 30, 2011 at 6:13 am

I’m damn afraid of getting back into blogging.  I’m afraid that I’ll have nothing good to say, and I fear that the masses will care enough to push me back down into my dark and depressive hole where I’m trying to crawl out of.

Should I be totally honest?  Is this the place for public honesty?  It could be a very dangerous road to take.  Disclosure can lead to upset friendships and angry mothers.  Yet I am being pulled in that direction all the time.

I played guitar.  I drank.  And now I write.  What better thing to start writing about than the act of blogging? Nothing.  It always starts this way.  Let’s do some analysis and go from there:

I don’t feel the kind of love that I really, truly think I want.  I’m ashamed at how poorly I progress with music, writing, and the act of living life.  It’s a poor artist who can only create while he’s depressed.  There’s a circular loop I’m caught in that keeps getting bigger every time I recognize its existence.  It’s the circle greed and gluttony and honesty.

We’re all going to end up back at the beginning sooner or later.  Let’s not waste it by losing ourselves in imaginary conversations and loose-fitting morals.